Mother’s Day

Sunday May 12, 2019

Today is Mother’s Day. To say that today was hard is an understatement. Thoughts of pregnancy what-ifs rushed through my brain the entire day. “Will I be able to celebrate Mother’s Day next year with a baby of our own”, “When can we even start trying again?”. My doctor said after one full cycle and a period. I’m so over the waiting. It happened fast for us before, so hopefully it happens fast again! To make matters worse, I’m still bleeding from the miscarriage… just another reminder of what we should have been celebrating but instead are grieving.

Fast forward 3 years to today…May 8, 2022.

I am absolutely overwhelmed by the number of you that reached out to me today sending extra love and wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you all for thinking of us and loving on Josh and I through this journey. We are so blessed to have such supportive family and friends ❤ We love each and every one of you more than you know.

Thinking back 3 years ago…if I knew then what I know now, I’m not sure I would’ve had such a positive outlook on this journey. But we’ve learned that’s just how infertility works. Take it one day at a time. Literally. Or you will drive yourself absolutely crazy.

So here we are, still no baby or able to celebrate the little one that would’ve made me a mom. It seems that days turn to months, which turn to years so quickly. With every year that passes, it feels like an even harder punch to the gut.

My due date would have been right around Christmas in 2019. We were so excited and thankful for our Christmas gift from God. We should have a 2.5 year old running around today. It tears my heart to pieces thinking about it… especially seeing our neice and nephews and wishing we would have a babe to add to the cousin crew. Aiden just turned 2… and I know that they would’ve been best buds even across the miles. Carson would’ve been the best big cousin, just like he is to Aiden and Azalie (although he is in uncharted territory at the moment… sharing the spotlight and all with 2 little cousins 😅) but he loves them even if it isn’t always evident. And I know that Azalie would’ve just charmed our little one with her chubby cheeks and contagious smile.

It breaks my heart for my husband and I. It breaks my heart for our parents. It breaks my heart for our grandparents we are still blessed to have Earthside. It breaks my heart for our sisters. It breaks my heart for our friends. Our family deserves to be promoted to grandparents, aunties and uncles. Our friends have been so supportive of us the last 3 years and we want so badly to have a little one of our own to play with their crew of munchins. It just plain sucks. Everywhere we look and everything we do is a constant reminder of what we don’t have and so desperately pray for every day.

Mothers Day is always hard. But I’m a firm believer in staying positive and always finding the best in all of life’s obstacles. We have so much love for all of the moms in our lives and are SO thankful for all the babies that we get to snuggle along the way. We’ll keep celebrating you, with hopes that we can join the party sooner rather than later. And for now we’ll love on our fur baby, Tango. She sure has filled a void in our lives… it has really helped to have an extra heartbeat to care for🐾

Happy Mothers Day to our moms and grandmas, sisters and friends. We hope each of you have the best day celebrating the gift of motherhood and feel appreciated for all that you do! We love you all so much and wish we could hug each of you today!

Cheers to 2023 🥂 & hopefully being able to celebrate a Mother’s Day of my own❤️🙏🏻